August 20, 2009

Playing by the Rules is Harder than You Think

Well apparently, Drogba and Drogbert are the same person. How a person completely new to the world of soccer is supposed to know that is beyond comprehension. This and other details would have been nice to know before the Fantasy Football season started, but never mind. Tattoos can always be removed, right?

All we can say is that when a computer spreadsheet was circulated among league members at the start of the season, friend Badger failed to point out that it had multiple tabs, thereby leading to a considerable amount of unnecessary confusion for Team Do-Ho. Upon opening these other mystery tabs, one finds a host of information that almost certainly could have been used to put our team in the number one position. Is a conspiracy at hand?

And while we're on conspiracy theories, Do-Ho was more than a little flabbergasted to read this MSN article about an anti-donut "doctor". It seems that this crazy man has been running around Florida posting signs that say mean things about great food, e.g. "Hamburger Spare Tire"; "French Fries Thunder Thighs", and (gasp) "America Dies on Dunkin'". Well it should come as no surprise to you that this gentleman was subsequently fired from his job as head of the county health department. After all, that's no way to behave. It is true (and even Do-Ho can attest to this) that an excess of certain treats can add a few extra pounds, but there are options. For example, one can counteract the weight gain by playing a sport, such as Fantasy Football. One would think this doctor fellow would be better received if he were to encourage people to stay healthy by having fun. End of editorial.

Go Defoe! Go Drogba/Drogbert! Go Dunkin'!


Anonymous said...

I'll say! And while you're on the subject of sports and conspiracies, I'm trying to figure out why it is that all the young, well-tanned, fellas at my pool speak a language that I neither understand, nor can place on a map. How can one flirt under such conditions?

Who is Do-Ho? said...

I totally empathize, my dear. As you may know, I'm still pining away for my caveman from Halloween (see,
with whom I could only exchange a few Neanderthal-type grunts. One thing is for sure: Everyone speaks the international language of donuts. Why not go pick up a dozen and share them poolside? Good luck! And please report back your results! The world is waiting to hear how you make out...